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Five years ago Allana and I went on a “trip of a lifetime” – a 10 day Mediterranean cruise on the Celebrity Solstice, starting in Barcelona. We decided to spend a couple of days in Barcelona before the cruise; firstly, to make sure we were there in time, and secondly, we’d heard so much about it we wanted to tour around for a couple of days.  We’d been warned about the pick pockets on Las Ramblas, the main pedestrian street and took all the precautions not to have our names added to the list of tourist who’d been robbed.  A co-worker who’d recently been, told us of being on the stairs, bending down to pick up something someone had dropped, only to be robbed herself in the process so we were VERY cautious and a little paranoid. If someone was having a real heat attack we would probably have ignored them, thinking “We know what you’re up too; you’re not getting one over us”.

We arrived at our hotel too early to check in so we decided to wander around the area while we waited.  We walked out what we thought was the front door, into a back alley and the first thing we saw was a man pissing in the street.   “Nice one Allana, what type of hotel have you booked us into?”  Oh well, c’est la vie… or in Spanish “asi es la vida!” so we turned our heads and continued walking through the maze of alleys, hookers on every corner. We decided instead of getting lost, never to be seen again if we kept walking any deeper into the alleys, we’d head back to the hotel to see if the room was ready.  Heeding all the warnings, we decided to leave our wallets in the room and just take cash – enough for a few drinks while we explored Las Ramblas. After walking out the “real” front door it was like the heavens opened up and the music played “Ahhhh!”  Absolutely gorgeous.  Las Ramblas is a mecca of cafes, tapas bars, tourists, restaurants – our kinda place!  We walked from one end to the other sampling the tapas bars as we went; you could get some great deals – a large plate of tapas and a glass of Sangria for $6E.  We stopped at one bar and sat outside watching the crowds as we enjoyed a full pizza and large pitcher of Sangria, all for $20E.  Loved it!

We headed back to our area of Las Ramblas and sat down at another outdoor bar since we still had $20E in our pockets. The opera had just finished and people were pouring onto the street, complete with the characters of the Opera – 20ft characters and street players were acting in front of us as we ordered two GLASSES of Sangria.  It was a gorgeous night – weather was warm, Sangria was delicious, people watching amazing – as we enjoyed our last taste of Sangria.  After asking for the bill we were shocked to see the $32E charge! WTF?  We explained to the waiter that we’d just had a PITCHER of Sangria AND a pizza up the street for $20E so why $32E for just two glasses?  “That was that end of the street” he replied.  We looked at each other knowing we only had $20E.  Two Irish guys sitting beside us piped in to our conversation, “Yeah we got ripped off too…$8E for a coffee; apparently unless the prices are posted on the table, they can charge anything”.  Damn!

Ok. “I’ll head to the “hole in the wall” and you stay here” I said to Allana. Constantly eyeing around me to see if anyone was watching for fear of being robbed, I was just about to enter my PIN when   suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder…”Would you like a blowjob?” a beautiful, young girl asked me.  “No thanks” I replied.   Frustrated, at my card not working at the machine I started heading back to Allana when the girl started to follow me, imploring,”I’ll give you a GOOD blow job”. “Look, I can’t even pay for my damn drinks never mind a blow job!” The entire time I was talking to her I was remembering all the robberies I’d been told about and imagined her giving me the so-called “good” blow job all the while fearing I was part of a scam. I don’t think “Mr Happy” would have been up to it!

I headed back to the bar where Allana was waiting and filled her in on my adventure and we decided that I would stay and she’d go back to the hotel to get more money.  The Irish lads had a good laugh at my ordeal and since Allana brought back more money, we decided to stay for another Sangria! Who knew what that would bring! Love Barcelona.